When I was lucky to have you
So here I am all alone now, people I used to know can’t probably even recall my name anymore, myself included. Who am I? Have I actually become someone different, or has this blackout faded my life away in some matter that I can’t see that I haven’t changed at all, just believe in it solely for my own pleasure?
Once upon a time you have asked me if I’d walk one thousand miles to see you, and here I am over six times more proving to myself that I wasn’t lying back then. This is so selfish, am I this self-centered? What could I possible believe it was going to happen at all with me coming all the way here.
Sure I had some other reasons, but those weren’t as close as my hopes of getting you to see that I was being real the whole time, and just lost myself in a terrible moment back then. But yeah, I get it that it was egotistic coming all the way here. But I missed you, and I wanted to see you again, even if it’s bound to be the last time I’ll see you smile again, I can now keep that memory with me, because I couldn’t recall so much.
From now on this is my life, I’ll have learn to live alone I guess. Learn to love people in small doses because I can’t seem to measure it anymore. Anyone I get to know that touches even slightly my heart gets so much that has been accumulated over all this time, that it’s actually overwhelming making them run away. And I get them, it’s too much to handle because it’s all I wanted to have given you.
Right now it would only take me a few couple of steps to see you, but this isn’t what it’s all about anymore. Now that the physical distance isn’t the issue anymore, you are farther away than ever before, when I was lucky to have you.