It’s late and I should’ve been asleep by now. I’d love to believe that it’s only jet lag showing it’s face to me once more, but I know what it is that is keeping me awake: you. Not what happened a few hours ago, nor it was the time we’ve been together, whether when we were a couple or just as friends. It has always been you that keep me awake at night.
The truth is that I’ll always care about how you are doing. If you are safe. If you are well taken care of. If you’re being loved by someone. I’ll always want you to most of all, be happy. I’ll always be there by your side as long as you let me, and I’ve said that quite enough that whatever may happen, you can count with me to be at your side whenever you need to.
In a weird way I think I’d loved you, for real. Maybe I still do, that’s also probably true. Thinking back, maybe all of this shouldn’t have happened and I honestly fought this feeling as much as I could but to no avail. You can’t fight love, it just happens. It takes you over and it made me act stupid sometimes near you, when reason should’ve prevailed.
I’m sorry. Sorry that I’ve been a jerk to you. Sorry that I’ve made you angry. Sorry that I couldn’t be what you wanted. I’ll always be sorry to have not spoken to you when I should’ve. You are an amazing woman, and I couldn’t be the amazing guy you needed.
Even after time goes by, I can promise you that I’ll always be that stupid guy who gave his phone number in a piece of napkin, and spent every single moment forward to that waiting for you to text him. Because in a blink of an eye, you made my whole world feel so right, when all hope was lost. You saved me from demise. And I’ll always be thankful to you. Although I know that all of this? It’s probably goodbye.